When you hear those dreaded words...I Quit!

When someone under your leadership comes to you and says “I Quit!”,  your mind starts racing:

Did I do something wrong?

How am I ever going to replace this person?

Why didn’t I see this coming?

How are we going to get all this work done?

I get it.  I have an amazing team made up of people with diverse assets and skill sets, and losing any of them would be painful.

But I gained a new perspective when a team member gave me his notice recently. He had a great deal of potential and we had been working together on a few strategies that would help him take his career to the next level. When he told me he was leaving, I was disappointed. What am I going to do without him? I thought.  Is there anything I can do that would convince him to stay?

But the offer he had gotten was a great opportunity for him, and it was a huge promotion. He would be building his own team in no time. I knew there was no way I could compete with that, and I couldn't blame him for taking hold of such a life-changing opportunity.

That’s when he said something I’ll never forget: “You know, this is partly your fault.” 

What? How could this be my fault that he is leaving? I was a little stung, so I asked him why.

His response: “Because of your mentoring and leadership in helping me find my voice and improving my communication skills, I now have the confidence to know that I am ready for this.  I would not have been ready to take on this role if it weren’t for you.”

WOW! I was both humbled and proud. 

I have a management style built on mentorship. I want to support my team members. I want to offer them guidance that inspires them to grow and gives them the freedom to be who they’re meant to be. We cultivate professional relationships built on openness, integrity, and mutual respect.  And my team member’s affirmation let me know that my leadership made an impact.

As leaders, you have a choice when someone quits. You can let stress and frustration take over your response, or you can celebrate their new opportunity and appreciate the time you shared and the value they brought to your team while they were there.

True leadership must be unselfish. If you get stuck in What about me? mode every time someone leaves, you won’t be able to move forward and your whole team will feel the strain. But if you choose gratitude for what each team member offers and how you were able to help them get to the next level, their departure will be more sweet than bitter.

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